Profiles of Homes With Child Abuse

• Perpetrators most often male
• AFDC main source of support
• Caretakers not married to each other
• Drug or alcohol use
• Criminal history that includes a violent crime
• Victim was youngest sibling
• Domestic violence in house
• Previous abuse of the child

• Head trauma is the leading cause of death in child abuse, followed by internal organ injuries.
• In most cases of internal organ injuries, there are not external signs of trauma. This is due to the pliability of the abdominal wall and its ability to absorb trauma without showing bruises.

• Child Death Review Teams in Colorado and Oregon have identified some "triggers" that occurred just before many children's death from abuse
  • infant's inconsolable crying
  • feeding difficulties
  • failed potty training
  • parents have exaggerated view of "disobedience"

• Abuse is a form of power:
  • the more powerful abuses the less powerful
  • compensates for the feeling of parental impotence
  • perceived way of regaining control
  • brainwashing is used to control or manipulate the victim and to skew their view of reality

• Has been abused as a child - a life pattern of aggression and violence has been established.
• Can be found in all cultural, ethnic occupational, religious and socio-economic groups and sexes
• Has expectations too high for the child's age
• May be angry with the child
• Does not know the best way to discipline the child
• Uses abuse as a form of power
• Not satisfied with child's schoolwork
• Has problems with employer or mate
• Has financial troubles
• Has a history of violence
• May be immature
• Has a cynical and distrustful personality
• May be impulsive
• May be isolated
• Unhappy with themselves
• Has drug or alcohol addiction
• Feels justified in their action or feels it was appropriate
• May be depressed or have mental health problems
• Possesses few coping skills
• Wants personal satisfaction over seeing to child's needs
• May be a pedophile
• Lives near or below poverty level

• Children born to adolescent mothers
• Unplanned or unwanted pregnancy
• Physically or mentally disabled children
• Children in a chaotic or crowded household
• Large families with children close in age
• Children born prematurely

• Hoping that maybe they'll be in a good mood, but knowing you couldn't trust them even if they were.
• Hoping that you can "just once get through breakfast and off to school" without any altercations.
• Hoping no one will notice the stitches and black eye you have tried to hide with your hair.
• Wanting to be "as good a bike rider as the rest of the kids," but still rehearsing the "self-conscious" laugh you will present with the explanation that you hurt your arm by falling off your bike.
• Hoping that someone will care enough to believe the incessant explanations you offer to account for your injuries.
• Feeling that everything will be all right, "if only…"
• Teachers like you because you are so well-behaved.
• The kids don't like you because the teacher does, and you don't know how to play anyway.
• Never knowing the consequence of a gesture, facial expression or request. Sometimes a gift of flowers is received affectionately, and sometimes it's dashed down with a shove and a tirade of abuse. Sometimes the request for a piece of gum is a "good idea" and sometimes it's proof of your horrid greediness and incorrigible lack of concern. Sometimes you are berated and punished for being selfish and ungrateful. But you just never know…
• Always worrying that when you are away from home something might be happening to your brother or sister.
• Trying to find a safe explanation for why you never bring your friends home.
• Trying to figure out what you did to "deserve" to be born into the family situation you were born into, and trying desperately to be a good person who doesn't deserve the abuse you keep getting.
• Being careful not to cry, or laugh too loudly.
• Feeling guilty that you are such a burden to your parents and sorry you were ever born, and "knowing" they feel the same way too.
• Hoping maybe they adopted you, and you could find your "real" parents and convince them you'd be good if only they'd take you back, but worrying about who would take care of your current parents if you were rescued.
• Lying awake at night listening to a brother or sister crying, and feeling sad, but wishing they would cry a little more softly so they won't "get it" again, and feeling guilty that they "got it" and not you.
• Somehow feeling your parents could love you if only you were sorry enough.
• Living in constant fear that you, or one of your brothers or sisters will be killed.
• Hoping the doctor won't believe your parents' explanation about how you got hurt, but knowing she/he probably will.
• Feeling betrayed by the non-abusing parent's failure to protect you, but trying to let them know it's all right, you understand, you know they can't help it.
• Wishing the problem was alcoholism or a chemical imbalance, so that the problem could be "cured."
• Developing your sensitivity so as to intuit threatening mood changes, but more often feeling that the heightened sensitivity is more painful than helpful.
• Wishing they could just touch you or hold you without hurting you, but sensing that they really need to be held too.
• At times hating them savagely, but soon reduced to tears because you know 'they didn't mean to," or 'they're just having a bad day," or "you should have been more careful," or…
• Wishing there was someone gentle who cared, that you could talk to, but knowing that if the subject ever came up, you would defend them loyally, because they're your parents and you love them, and you need to believe that they love you too…